If you dont see me...

I've been going over my financials all day today and after nearly breaking down emotionally, I've discovered that I am flat broke. After a couple 'surprise' doctor bills I have no money and too many bills coming in. I'd love to find an evening or weekend part time job to make up for where Im lacking. Its the only way I can see getting myself out of this hole I've dug for myself. I keep telling myself that I just need to make it through this year and then everything will settle down and I'll be back on track. I JUST HAVE TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT!!! At a moments notice I want to break down, I'm embarrassed honestly. I have no idea how I let this all get this way. There's no way I can ask for money...its just not my style. I dont want my problems to become someone else's burden. Ugh right now I'm really wishing I never bought my fabulous washer and dryer. Really I had no problems with the payments until all this bullshit with bill & collections. It makes me sick to think about. I hate it....I cant even think about my wedding next year until I get all this straightened out. Well anyways, the whole point of this rant is to let you know, if you dont see me for awhile its because I went into hiding, that way I spend as little money as possible.